| I received several encouraging replies about what I could learn in Iraq and Jordan, and was soon in dialog with Ali, a gay Iraqi living in London,
It ain't easy being green
The cultural approach of the conservative Arab world toward homosexuality makes 1950s America look like West Hollywood. It is simply not an acceptable topic to talk about. Men who are attracted to other men, and women who are attracted to other women, generally marry the opposite sex and do not tell their families or friends of their orientations. Rather, many carry on a secret gay social life on the side, meeting up at private parties and other impromptu events.
There are no "gay clubs" as such, even in Jordan, but as one gay Iraq refugee said, there was a certain club in Baghdad during the 1990s, which everyone knew catered to only men after 8pm.
The straight Iraqis and Jordanians with whom I brought up the subject of homosexuality found it extremely unpleasant even to discuss. "If I wanted to marry a girl, and her brother was like that, I could not marry her even if I loved her," said one otherwise liberal and pro-American Iraqi.
The mere mention of gay and lesbian issues is a major conversation-stopper, so when I did ask straight Jordanians and Iraqis about it, I soon learned only to bring it up after other discussions, typically just before the end of our conversation. So great was the cultural impediment to broaching homosexuality that, after its mention, any subsequent dialogue felt awkward and uncomfortable, with whomever I was speaking to probably thinking, "why would he want to know about gays and lesbians?"
And yet, while the vast majority of gays and lesbians in the Arab world live in a permanent closet surrounding all aspects of their lives, they are not usually at risk of losing their lives. Indeed, they may well be forced to marry a member of the opposite sex, or face being disowned, kicked out, or shunned, but generally, death is rarely a punishment. Iran as a nation has officially executed several gay men, and there are also unofficial "honor killings", even in Jordan, but once again these constitute the exception rather than the rule. To execute someone for being gay means acknowledging that homosexuality exists, and that is a step that much of the conservative Arab world seems unwilling to take. In the conservative Arab world, "don't ask, don't tell" pervades all segments of society.
American Policy Nexus:
The prevailing norms in much of the Arab world demonstrate the social ramifications of "don't ask, don't tell" taken to the extreme. The policy of maintaining "don't ask, don't tell" in our armed forces perpetuates the closet and tacitly insinuates that there is something wrong with you if your sexual orientation is towards members of the same sex. The US should end don't ask don't tell and cease the removal of capable and courageous members of our military based exclusively on their openness about their sexual orientation.
Iraq, however, is currently far worse than Jordan for gays and lesbians. According to Ali, Ahmed, and Mohammed, gays and lesbians are specifically targeted for extortion and murder, by the roving gangs/militias that essentially control most of Baghdad.
It's amazing to think how globalization and the Internet have brought the worlds of San Francisco and Baghdad so close, and yet how far apart they are on the treatment of human desire.
The Closet of Death
The otherwise personable and even liberal Iraqis and Jordanians with whom I talked, found homosexuality extremely unpleasant to even talk about. Faiza, an Iraqi refugee who is helping to organize empowerment programs for women in Jordan and Iraq, was dismayed when I told her I was looking to work with a relief agency to help gays and lesbians. "Why they help lesbians? Widows and orphans need help, and they help lesbian???" she said in broken English. Her perspective was one of complete disdain for any group of crazy westerners who would actually want to help gays and lesbians amidst such an enormous humanitarian crisis.
In Iraq, I talked to "Muhommad" on the phone. I later found out from Ahmed in Jordan that Muhommad was not even his real first name. Muhommad, who is gay, runs a safe house where fifteen gays and lesbians live in hiding until the day they can flee Iraq. While speaking with him, he passed the phone around to several other gays and lesbians staying at the house, and I talked to them as well.
The gays and lesbians who have the hardest time, according to Muhommad, are effeminate men and butch women. Unlike others for whom the presumption of heterosexuality is strong, Iraqis who defy gender stereotypes are frequently suspected of being gay and, in many areas of modern Iraq, killed on the spot.
American policy nexus:
The Democratic party recently had an unfortunate debate about whether to include "gender identity" in the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). The gay and lesbian community was split, some feeling that getting protection for gays and lesbians was a solid accomplishment, while others felt that leaving out "gender identity" sold the transgendered community and those who defy stereotypes down the river. Hearing about the extreme risk faced by Iraqis who defy gender stereotypes since it is difficult or impossible for them to hide in a closet only reaffirmed my commitment to pass an inclusive ENDA bill that includes protections based on gender identity.
Intrigue and Danger
When I decided to focus on the plight of gays and lesbians in Iraq, I hardly guessed that I was signing up for cloak and dagger drama.
The day I arrived in Iraq, I received the following email:
Dear Jared
It is glad to me to read your message and I hope I can meet you soon.
Can you sen to me your contact information for cellar mobile inside Iraq and I will contact you as fast as I could.
Respectfully yours
I answered that I could not receive calls inside Iraq, and requested his number. He responded and I called back but he didn't speak English very well and I figured I would call him later that day when I met up with a bilingual friend I could trust with such a sensitive matter.
Later that day, when I talked to Ali in England, I asked if he knew the same individual, and he stated that the name was familiar, that he'd heard of religious extremists using the same name to lure gay people only to kidnap or kill them.
After forwarding Ali the email, we further corresponded:
Ali wrote:
I know this email address, they are trying to use the name of Iraqi Lgbt to get some fund , so much fraud is going on, luckily I had so many friends and members of our group are aware of them, please do not give any of your details to anyone you do not trust here on the net.
Warmest regards
Ali
Jared Polis wrote:
Do you still think they are religious extremists who will kill gays and lesbians?
Ali wrote:
Or it could be elements of Government or religious shia militia monitoring the Internet
With all the high-stakes subterfuge, I promptly ended my quest to meet gay and lesbian Iraqis within Baghdad. Through Muhammad, I had another lead to someone I had planned to meet with, but I called it off for the safety both of myself and the person with whom I was going to meet. I was told that various militias take photographs of Iraqis entering the green zone, and they are later targeted as collaborators. So too, I didn't want to be captured and killed by a fundamentalist militia trying to infiltrate the homosexual communications network. I like James Bond as much as the next guy, but I prefer watching it on the big screen to living it.
In Amman, I felt safe enough to at least meet with Ahmed, an actual gay Iraqi who has, like nearly all those who had the ability, fled Iraq.
Ahmed was a stereotypical "aging queen. In his early fifties, overweight, and diabetic, he wore little baggies over his swollen feet instead of shoes. He had a feminine, wise air about him and spoke flowing English fluently.
His personal story began with a Baghdad taxi driver he didn't even know, who claimed that he knew Ahmed was gay, and proceeded to extort $20/week protection money in exchange for not outing him. The taxi driver then upped the amount to about $100/week, which Ahmed couldn't really afford, but he feared for his life if he didn't pay. One day he returned home and saw people in his house as he was about to enter. He didn't go in and never went back, staying with a relative for a few days before fleeing to Jordan where he was later joined by his 80-year old mother.
Consistent with the Arab cultural context, even though he never married a woman, Ahmed is not out to his mother. His effeminacy would make any American mother without blinders assume her son gay; presumably Ahmed's mother either had no idea or at least chose to maintain the pretense of assumed heterosexuality. With his mother in the other room, Ahmed insisted we use the term "LGBT" instead of "gay" or "homosexual" in case she should overhear us, even though she didn't speak English well.
Ahmed seemed to be personally comfortable with his identity as a gay muslim and has never married a woman. He spoke of gay life in Baghdad in the 1980s and 1990s, and how he had "about a thousand" gay and lesbian friends. He said that he knew of many who had been killed, some who had fled, and even more old friends from whom no one has heard in a long time.
As his white persian cat, Sufi II (Sufi I had died), climbed his china cabinet, he expressed doubts that Iraq would be hospitable toward gays and lesbians for the foreseeable future. For his own future, he hopes to be able to emigrate to America, where a cousin lives in Seattle, or to Europe. He also believes that all gay and lesbian Iraqis should leave, and that organizations like Ali's, which help run "underground railroads" for the LGBT community, are the only realistic way to save lives.
The nature of the work to save gays and lesbians is so secretive that it cannot be coordinated through the Iraqi government or the NGO coordinating council. All the gays and lesbians I talked to confirmed that there are security risks at all levels; it seems unlikely they would all share the same unfounded paranoia, so I believe them. Unable to coordinate relief efforts through the NGO coordinating agency or the Ministry of Civil Society, gays and lesbians are left entirely on their own to operate a rogue underground railroad.
There are many reasons that lesbians and gays have fled Iraq, and they are certainly not the only Iraqis to flee, but they face a special burden because of their sexual orientation. In areas of Iraq that fall subject to theocratic rule, they will probably never be able to return. On an individual basis, it appears that their best hope is to seek asylum in a western nation.
American policy nexus:
The United States grants asylum to refugees who face persecution in their own country. In 1994, the US first granted asylum based on persecution based on sexual orientation. Since then, while there have been a trickle of cases based on sexual orientation, the United States should do a better job helping gay and lesbian Iraqis feel comfortable about this option. The concept of discussing their sexual orientation with anyone who is official is a scary thing for those who grew up in a climate of fear, and making sure that we have friendly immigration officials including gay and lesbian case workers will help ensure that gay and lesbian asylum seekers have the same rights as other asylum seekers.
I have decided to donate to Ali's group in the UK. I heard back separately from another group that has donated and said positive things. Ali has a difficult time deploying the aid in Iraq, but is trying to make a difference, as are "Mohammed" and the other brave Iraqis involved with the underground railroad that helps save the lives of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in Iraq.
In the United States, regardless of whether you support equal rights for gays and lesbians or not, it's a legitimate cause on both sides and you aren't putting your life at risk by weighing in on the matter. Outside of a few tragic events and fringe, we can disagree without being disagreeable. Brave gays and lesbians sometimes risk their jobs and their familial relationships when they come out, but seldom risk their lives. Like many gays and lesbians in the United States, I have often looked towards Canada and Europe and thought "why can't we be more like that?"
This experience has helped me realize that even in the most conservative of states and counties, we are so fortunate to be Americans. We have come so far, and yet there is much work left to do.
Jared Polis
Candidate for US Congress
Colorado 02
www.polisforcongress.com
Donate now to help our fight!
Previous installments:
I am going to Iraq
My Arrival in Amman, Jordan
Arrival in Baghdad
In Iraq for Thanksgiving
Inside a private mercenary compound
Exporting instability: Iraqi refugees in Jordan
American Media Bias on Iraq
Coming in a few days:
POST-IRAQ-JORDAN THOUGHTS: Where do we go from here?
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